We have forgotten how to say, “I think you are wrong”—and leave it there.
We cannot simply disagree with another person’s conclusion. We have to explain what is defective in the person who reached it.
They must be ignorant.
They must be hateful.
They must have been brainwashed.
They must not care about the people or values I care about.
We stop being curious.
We don’t consider what that person may have lived through—or what they are afraid of—or what they are trying to protect.
Most of the people we dismiss are not threatening our lives.
They have simply contradicted us.
And somehow, disagreement has become distance.
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We have become extraordinarily practiced at contempt.
It is different from disagreement. It is different even from anger.
Anger says, “What you did is wrong.”
Contempt makes a judgment about what you are.
It is the eye roll. The sneer.
The little laugh when somebody we dislike says something foolish.
It is the pleasure we feel when someone on the other side gets humiliated.
It is taking the worst example of a group of people and using that person to explain everybody in the group.
A player misses the shot, drops the pass, strikes out, or makes the mistake that costs the game.
Within minutes, strangers who have never met him are flooding his social-media accounts.
You're worthless. You should never play again.
Sometimes they go after the player's spouse or children.
Think about that.
A human being failed at something while millions of people were watching.
Something every one of us has done—failed.
And our response can be: Make him hurt. That is contempt.
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The problem is that when we examine our own hearts—we find God's good seed and the bad seed growing together—both are present.
Every one of us knows what it is to love generously one day... and act selfishly the next.
The field isn't just out there. The field is in here. Inside our hearts.
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